i, Chameleon

Chameleons have a special property within them. They can adapt to fit the color of their surroundings. Its like a second nature to them, in fact, its probably their first nature. But why? Why do they have this amazing ability? Is it because they have no natural way of warding of predators? I guess so. They change themselves to avoid danger, damage, being hurt.

Thats what I've been doing ever since I came back to Malaysia. The changes in situations around my environment cause me to learn how to create multiple masks to shield myself. So many masks to cover my ever changing emotions. But it resulted in one major drawback; I've forgotten who I really am. I was so afraid of hurting myself, I ended up creating multiple personalities to fit the situation, although right now I'm stuck on egoistical lying bastard. 

And not only have I forgotten my true self, in my quest to protect myself, I've hurt many others. More people than I can count. Even those dearest to me have not been spared. I used to blame the circumtance, but now I realise that its just me. Me bringing up the painful topics, me asking the stupid question, me to blame. And now its causing a dip in my performances, in all sections of life.

I know now what I've done wrong. I just don't know how to fix it. 

i, Chameleon.